vladibo666 (vladibo666) wrote,

Understanding Engineers..!!

> Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one
> said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied,
> "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a
> beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all
> her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded
> approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit
> you anyway."
> Understanding Engineers #2
> To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is
> half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
> Understanding Engineers #3
> A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
> particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those
> guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in,
> "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here
> comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello
> George, What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow,
> aren't they?" The greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind
> firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year,
> so we always let them play for free anytime!." The group fell silent for a
> moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer
> for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my
> ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything she can do for them."
> The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
> Understanding Engineers #4

> What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
> Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
> Understanding Engineers #5
> The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate
> with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an
> accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an arts
> degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
> Understanding Engineers #6
> Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have
> designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look
> at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The
> nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one
> said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run
> a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
> Understanding Engineers #7
> Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers
> believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
> Understanding Engineers #8
> An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and
> said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over,
> picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and
> said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay
> with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled
> at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss
> me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do
> anything you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and
> put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter?
> I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one
> week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said,
> "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking
> frog - now that's cool."
Tags: english language, humor
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