May 6th, 2014

What Farm Animal Are You?

I got Pig.

Wait! It's not that bad. Think bacon, ham, and sausages. When was the last time you didn't enjoy these? They're all unbelievably tasty. And you're a tasty human. You have an amazing taste in food, culture, fashion, and life in general. You're the best and most awesome kind of pig! ;)

What about you?

This quiz contains 10 simple questions. At the end, we'll try to determine which farm animal describes you best. Have fun!


So You Think You're Stupid?

    • Question: If you could live forever, would you, and why? Answer:"I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."      - Miss Alabama, in the 1994 Miss USA pageant

      • "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean ... I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
           - Mariah Carey

      • "Smoking kills. If you are killed, you've lost a very important part of your life"
          - Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.

      • "That low-down scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it."
          - A congressional candidate in Texas

      • "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." - Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.

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Вашими бы устами

Вашими бы устами да помолчать...

- Я по глазам вижу, что ты пил!
- Я по бокам вижу, что ты ела!

Ничто так не ориентирует человека на местности, как поиски туалета.

- Мадам, что вы делаете сегодня вечером?
- Кому?

- Иван-дурак, ты куда?
- В чисто поле... пущу стрелу, как батя велел, и в чей двор она
упадет, на той стало быть и женюсь.
- А боеголовку-то нахера прикрутил? - Не хочу жениться.

- Как ваша фамилия?
- Грубо говоря, Шишкин.
- А не грубо?
- Ну, Сиськин

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